short story. When The Bird Sings in the Pine Wood. Descriptive Short Story.
89Short story: a descriptive short story...
When The Bird Sings in The Pine Wood.
The locals had become accustomed to seeing her sitting or standing on the rock, the woman in grey silhouetted against the horizon. She was there at early light and still at dusk. At these times she merged into the background and almost seemed invisible, especially when she was hunched up, crouched on the rock, with her grey woollen shawl covering her hair. Most of the day though you could see her, silhouetted, watch her gazing out across the sea, staring at the point where the vast sky and the sea met.
They shook their heads and muttered when they first saw her there but gradually it became a normal part of the routine of village life. No one had the time to persuade her to change her ritual and if they had tried to it is doubtful that she would have listened to them.
A bird is singing in the pine woods, the song is piercing the still evening air.
There is a beautiful sadness to the tune as the notes rise and fall. At first it seems as if there is no one to witness this performance but a lone figure is walking through the wood along the well-trodden path that leads to the sea-shore. Laurel pauses to look up at the small bird perched in the branches of a nearby tree. Seeing her it takes flight and soars high into the fading blue of the early evening sky.
It is late summer and although the day has been hot there is now none of its warmth left. The heat of the day has intensified the fragrant scent of pine oil and it lingers on as the evening air grows cooler. Occasionally the hem of Laurel's dress brushes against a clump of wild garlic and the smell of it is added to that of the pines. Shadows are beginning to darken in the wood as the light slowly begins to fade. Now at the edge of the wood she pauses, looks back, then almost immediately she turns to face the sea and walks forward to the place where the rickety wooden steps lead down to the beach.
In front of her the scene is dominated by the vast expanse of sea and sky, the colours are those of a watercolour picture its shades almost washed away in places. Dusk creeps into the scene and the darker patches of colour are beginning to merge with one another blending sea and sky. The air grows damper and tiny moisture droplets begin to form on the tips of the grasses that fringe the beach. The dunes and beach are deserted apart from this lone woman in a white muslin gown.
Laurel gathers the hem of her dress into her left hand and clenches the fabric to her side as she begins to descend. The steps to the beach are irregular and some are worn or set at odd angles so with her right hand she grasps the hand rail. She is moving as quickly as the dress and the uneven wooden treads will allow her.
A mist is beginning to roll in from the sea and the air has a definite chill to it now. Laurel stops to lift the shawl from her shoulders to cover her hair, a couple of wispy damp curls escape and her cling to her face. She now looks almost biblical; with the white muslin gown and the pale blue shawl now resting over her head and shoulders. For a moment, as she reaches the last tread of the steps it looks as if she will sink to her knees on the sand in a gesture of prayer. But she is just bending forward to slip off her shoes and then she places them on the last step as if they are not needed and are no longer her responsibility.
A sea mist is creeping up the shore line as she begins to walk across the sand. It envelopes her and she becomes almost invisible to anyone looking down from the top of the steps. The call of a fog horn startles her; but as with anyone who lives close to the sea she soon becomes accustomed to its sound. Undeterred by the reduced visibility or the dampness of the fog she walks slowly but purposefully forward.
It has taken her a year to arrive at this place and she does not know if she has been planning to come here forever or if it has just happened to her. She has dreamt of this moment so many times but now the reality of being here is blurred and the early clarity of her intention is as lost as the horizon. Wet sand is clinging to the hem of the thin muslin dress and it is weighing it down and dragging the section of hem that she is holding from her grasp. Laurel's feet are being sucked into the sand with each step she takes. In front of her the waves are growing more powerful and are pounding closer. Sea water is beginning to trickle between her toes and now around her ankles and then a stronger more powerful wave pounds against her shins before retreating.
The muslin dress is soaked and heavy with water, she tries to wringing the moisture from the hem but is defeated, she too is cold and her hands do not have the strength to try again. She lets go of the hem and the dress swirls around her ankles in the sea.
Laurel looks down at the ruined dress and remembers the dress being made for her. How proud she felt at the final fitting, how she had felt beautiful and like a lady when she tried it on. Jack had promised to bring a pair of satin shoes back from his travels for her to wear on their wedding day. She recalls the softness of the gauze veil that had frothed around her shoulders as she had waited for him in borrowed shoes. She had picked a posy of flowers and made a garland of blossom for her hair and rested it over the veil. Then she had gone to meet him at the altar of the grey flint village church.
Now frozen and numb but not afraid, this must be the place was where she would find him. The sea was his first love he had told her. Being here makes more sense to her than much that has gone before. The fog horns mournful tone is relentlessly now; and she can also hear the sound of a rowing boat’s oars on the water.
Her voice silenced and trapped within her for months breaks free and calls aloud his name “Jack I’m here”
A light flickers and then it sweeps across the water reflecting off the white fabric of her dress,
"Get out of the water woman. Go back, you have to turn back!” a man in in the boat is yelling frantically at her.
She calls again “Jack I’m over here”
Laurel walks forward stumbling towards the light, repeatedly calling his name.
In the boat someone is reaching forward to lift her out of the water his face is illuminated by the single light in the boat. Laurel she stares at him and then steps back, away from the boat. She calls the name again. He is not there and these men in the boat to her are just a diversion from her quest. Once again the man reaches forward and tries to catch hold of her but she wriggles and shakes herself free of his grasp.
Cursing, he climbs out over the side of the boat and follows her. They are now both waist deep in the water, and she continues to walk against the waves away from the boat. The boatman strides forward and gaining on her moves to take hold of her elbow but as he does so she slips and they both fall backwards and go under. Quickly he surfaces and realises he has been left clutching her shawl and that he can see no trace of her. He continues to duck under the water searching for her, but his attempts to locate her is unsuccessful. He calls to the other two men to bring the boat over. They row the boat back and forth sweeping the light in an arc from side to side. The search is unsuccessful and there is no trace of her to be found that night.
The village church was full of people and flowers on the day of her funeral. Very few of the villages knew that the coffin was empty except for her shoes, shawl and the sand and stones that they had added to weight it. Her body would probably be washed up in a place where no one knew of her, most likely on a spring flood tide. Oddly at certain times of day a shadow on the rock appeared to be looking out to sea.
The villagers never forgot the tragedy of it. Laurel's family and friends would tend the empty grave never knowing the truth. The villages would scatter flower petals on her grave on the anniversary of her death which was also the date she should have celebrated her wedding anniversary. The boatmen never forgot the night they lost young Laurel.
Strangers visiting the area would often wonder why there are posies of flowers placed on a large grey rock that juts out into the sea and who they saw siting there.
Neither of the two people who knew a further truth would dare to share it for they had no wish to add anger to the existing sadness. The knowledge that she had been died for the love of a man who had been unworthy of her love. Who had not as she had thought been lost at sea on the eve of their wedding. The man who had left Laurel at the altar on their wedding day, while he caught a ship out of Portsmouth. It was probably the village's best kept a secret.
The copyright to these words/this short story and the photo are mine and may not be copied without my consent.
Some parts of this story come from the place I live or areas near to it. The flight of wooden steps and the pine wood are real and are along the coast at a holiday beach. My first house was near the coast and I could hear the mournful sound of the fog horn on days when there was a fog at sea and we knew when the lifeboat went out because we could hear the 'flares'. In the past, both of my parents had grandfathers who were fishermen .
Link to another short story
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A short Fairy Tale about a small beautiful and brave bird who refused to give up hope of finding love and happiness.. Once upon a time there was a bird who had feathers that were so beautiful and intense in colour that....
link to one of my pages with photographs and poetry
- Trees in Autumn.
Autumn tree colours... I was fortunate to visit this park in Italy on an afternoon when the autumn leaves were drifting down on a gentle breeze to form a golden carpet. I had to capture the colours with my camera...
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ralwus thanks for reading my short story pleased you enjoyed it.
So surprised no one else has been here.
Hello ralwus, I found an email about this short story hub being a potential HubNugget in with the spam this morning. So that caused a bit of a panic, have now put links from my profile page but the advice about Twitter and other net works is lost on me; I just do n't go there, just have a blog about my hubpages.
It was nice of you to leave a comment here, you left a comment which was encouraging so all is not lost..thank you.
Yeah, yahoo was placing a lot of my notifications in the spam folder and after about a month or so it quit. No problem. Still love this hub.
I liked it Good Read
Congratulations on your HubNugget nomination! Keep writing!
Hi 2uesday, this is a beautiful sad tale with good imagery. Glad you shared it here. Congrats on your Hub Nuggets nomination! You have my vote.
ralwus thanks, I know now to check spam more than once a week. Positive comments like yours are more likely to build my confidence and 'kickstart' me back into writing than anything else. Hope I can find the right words now I've started to write again, thank you.
Hello, hello 2uesday! :) You've found your voice and so may you be inspired to write more! So glad and happy for your Hubnugget nomination!
To vote for this hub, please follow this link and vote now! http://hubpages.com/_hubnuggets10/hub/roundup-at-t
Williamjordan thank you for reading and leaving a comment on my story.
RedElf thank you; for reading my short story, your comment and your congratulating me on my HubNuggets nomination on this.
hello Moyra thank you for your Hubnuggets vote and also the comment. Without you reading my hubs and your encouragement I would not have been 'brave enough' to post this short story here.
ripplemaker hello and thank you for your congratulations on my Hubbernuggets nomination and your lovely encouraging comment on my writing.
You are most welcome.. :)
2- You surely do paint fine pictures with words. I got cold and wet just reading your hub. :-)))
-"You surely do paint fine pictures with words" thank you Gus that is a lovely comment to read about this story first thing in the morning ...that got my day off to a really good start.
I have a love/hate relationship with the sea, it fascinates me, but I cannot swim so it is bit scarey for me to go on a boat and have the weather turn bad.Thanks again for reading and leaving a comment for me.
I didn't know you could post short stories on HubPages. That's cool. Man, they really do mean "anything you want."
yes you, can but regarding content you will find guidelines as to what is allowed on the Hubpages site. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
You are a gifted writer and I am not surprised you are nominated! Best of luck with all your writings!
PS That's a great idea to put a copyright notice at the end.
Thanks Bard of Ely,for reading and leaving your kind comment here.
2uesday
I don't know how I missed this-it is hauntingly beautiful-and very visual.I live near the sea and it has an eerie beauty,especially at dusk.Brilliant work.
thank you itakins, for the lovely comment epecially pleased as you know from where you live the sort of scenery I am trying to convey.
Great story ;D I love the imagery, very vivid and descriptive.
Thank you Everette Graydon for reading and leaving a comment. Pleased you enjoyed my story.
Hi 2uesday,
WOW! This is creative writing in top form and very inspiring :) Holly
h.a. borcich...thank you for the lovely comment you left on this.. I'm still amazed when people enjoy reading my writing.
You have a soft , gentle style which makes reading this story very pleasurable. I shall go on to the others.
that's a lovely comment thank you for reading and leaving it for me Donna.
Hello 2uesday I loved your story. It was so very beautiful the way you described every detail about Laurel even down to what she wore. I could feel the pain she must have felt as she was looking for her beloved "Jack", what a tragedy she had to die, but then it was beautiful too because now the two would be together once more in death just as they had been for a very short time in life. She must have loved him very much as you could tell from your story.I see in your profile that you love gardening and growing flowers, and you love poetry and writing. I have recently joined Hubpages and I am not writer but a professional singer, or I was until I got this dreaded incurable disease, which forced me off the stage. I have written three poems, one in particular I have written is about a beautiful rose that grew in my garden called "Just Joey". It was so lovely it inspired me to write this piece. I would love to know what your thoughts are on it and I have become a fan of yours and will enjoy reading other stories you have written. I am sure they are just as wonderful as this one. BB
hello Beautybabe thank you so much for reading my story and leaving such a nice comment on it for me. Thank you for becoming a fan I hope you will enjoy other things that I have written; it is not easy to feel as much 'in tune' with what you are writng as I did with this one. It is a pleasure to share my writing when people leave such thoughtful comments thank you.
Wonderful writing! Pictures in the mind....I smiled! Thanks! :)
Tom Cornett thanks for reading I'm really pleased you liked this.
2uesday- It is no wonder this was nominated. This is absolutely terrific. Your ability to link the reader with the protagonist is a very special gift. Well done.
Linda thank you so much for your lovely comment about my story.
Very nice. Thanks for visiting me. Happy writing 2uesday!
Thank you Micky Dee for reading this and leaving a comment on it for me.
wow what a great story! I really enjoyed it, so sad, so thought provoking
C Seidel thank you, I am really pleased you enjoyed reading this story.
A very nice story. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for visiting me.
Thank you Hussins, I am pleased you enjoyed reading my story.
I liked your story, 2uesday. :) Very descriptive and entertaining. A must read! Would make a good movie too! Thanks for sharing it with us. I like your style of writing.
gwennies pen - thank you I never thought of anything that I write being a movie; there is more to this in the build up to her walk that I did not include. I do always picture the scenery or setting as I write - your comment is appreciated thank you.
I really enjoyed reading this. It was mysterious, captivating and sad. Good work!
Simply Brit - Thank you for reading and leaving me a comment.
WOW! I didn't see the end coming. Very sad, well told story. So if this a true story? I really enjoyed it. See, it's writers like you that prevents me from writing, because reading is my first love. Again very good.
hi fastfreta it is not a true story I think I was able to write it because of how I feel about the sea - I love it but it scares me too. Also the place in it is a real location so that I can walk it in my mind as I write. I look forward to reading your hubs, thank you for such a lovely comment on this.
The suspense, imagery, and sadness combined in this story is sheer talent. I enjoyed reading it. I have a passion for the sea - I've dreamt of living near water all my life. Kudos to you.
Thank you Denizee - for reading and leaving a comment I am pleased you enjoyed reading this. I took a look at your list of hubs and am looking forward to reading some of them soon.
A beautiful story filled with imagery and mystery, a cryptic tale which keeps the reader puzzled but awake.
The intrigue is well woven into the fabric, and this is very well done.
Congratulations.
Katyzzz thank you for reading my story and leaving your comment for me. I love your profile picture the colours in it and the design. I will take a look at your hubpages later thank you.
Finally got to read this. Your story has some incredible imagery, and the plot twist is not nearly what I had predicted. This was good.
Thank you Christopher, I am pleased you liked this. Re/ the 'incredible imagery' was helped by me having visited the location I am describing - even though I have only seen it on a summer's day. The first time I wrote this the story was slightly different - it has evolved into this final tale.
Beautifully haunting. Very sad...but loved the imagery, so well written!! Thanks for sharing. I'll be back for more.
Thank you peacenhim, for such a great comment on this story.
Hi 2uesday, I agree with all the comments above,Ithink I sucked in some salt water when the chap went over the side to rescue the woman - I like the way you were able to lead me (the reader) by the hand through it all - thanks for the read and congrats on your nomination
Lovely story, it haunted me all the while...
I am pleased you enjoyed reading my short story. Your comment was very encouraging. Writng this was a breakthrough for me as it was the first time I managed to write something as descriptive in a short story. Thank you for reading and leaving your comment - Moulik Mistry
wow!!!
loved it thorough out... could imagine the scene.. well drafted.. keep it up... thnks.. keep writing..
Hello geekiest, it is great that you liked this and thank you for leaving such an encouraging comment. I will try to write another short story soon. Thank you.
great story...very well written and descriptive. Felt like I was there....great job!
thnak you Vicky happy you enjoyed reading this short story. Thanks too for leaving a comment
"It has taken her a year to arrive at this place and she does not know if she has been planning to come here forever or if it has just happened to her. She has dreamt of this moment so many times but now the reality of being here is blurred and the early clarity of her intention is as lost as the horizon."
I've had this feeling before. Nebulous. Love the emotion, fervor. Its overwhelming and melancholic. Searching for naught. Lovely.
ThankYou.
[ EP ]
blueyez408 thank you for reading my short story and leaviing a lovely comment, sorry I did not thank you before.
You're Welcome 2uesday, And Its Okay!
I Didnt Need A ThankYou, Im New To This Whole HubPages Thing.
It Was A Pleasure Reading It!
[ EP ]
beautiful !! u write so wel 2uesday !!
Thank you Craftsmith for reading this short story and leaving a comment here.
YOU ARE A GOOD STORY-TELLER...
Thank you Moulik Mistry it is kind of you to say so.
Somehow, the texture of her love reminds me of 'the dead' by Joyce.
Thank you Marcel, I have to admit I have only read one of his books - Dubliners. I will have to take a look at the one you mention here. I am fond of Thomas Hardy's - Tess of the d'Urbervilles so that may influence the era I have imagined this set in. Thank you for such an interesting comment.
Loved your story 2uesday. You have a really nice style of writing and what I love about reading a good story is the way I can picture it in my mind's eye. You captured my imagination and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.
Thank you lucieanne for reading this and for leaving a comment. It is nice to meet you here.
good job i liked it!
Thank you starqueen pleased you liked this.
Yet another good read from you. :) I like your writing and look forward to reading more.
Thank you silverfoxygirl pleased you enjoyed reaing this story.
I've noticed you write a lot about plants care and such. Are a gardener?
hello silverfoxygirl, the shorter answer to your question is yes; I am a gardener but not a professional gardener.
The rambling answer is - my love of plants and nature comes into my short stories and fiction at times. I think that is because plants and gardens form an important part of my life I have always taken an interest in them and I like having a garden to care for. For me a garden is a haven, a place where I can retreat from the modern world. Some of my earliest memories are of being in the garden in my first home. Colour,scent texture etc. are part of gardening and they too are important to me when I write. Thank you, for reading this and leaving a comment.
My goodness I felt as though I was there with her! What a good read that was. Well done 2uesday. Nice to hear you share my love of nature. Keep up the good work.
Thank you John - it is good to know that you enjoyed reading my short story and thank you for leaving an encouraging comment on it.
A good reading. I enjoyed it.
Thank you I enjoyed it immensely
Your word descriptions gave such vivid detail, it was easy to 'be there'. A great story...though with that sad ending. Thank you!
Thank you frogyfish plesed you enjoyed reading this and thank you too for scrolling down the comments list to leave a message here. It hardly seems possible it is almost a year ago I posted it here. Thank you.
You have a genuine talent for putting the right words together to create a vivid image. All the elements were there to make the reader want to continue reading right to the end. We must know what happened to her and why. Beautifully done, 2uesday.
Thank you PegCole for reading and leaving a lovely comment here.
Beautifully captured and haunting. loved reading this. keep writing...
Hi 2uesday,
I think you are a fantastic writer. your story really pulled me in, it was very descriptive and had pace.It is something I lack when I wrote.
If you don't mind me saying, and I can assure you I am know academic, I just wanted her to continue into the water without the boatman suddenly appearing.
Your writing had me almost in a meditative trance but then I was pulled out by the boatmen trying to save her.
I almost wanted her to continue on her way and maybe as she drowned we could find out why in her dialogue.
I am nervous about offering criticism as if it means mine is somehow better, but felt the urge to write a bit more.
Thanks
Thank you David that is a very nice comment and I appreciate all of the comment and the time you took to read this and make it.
I understand the idea you have given and indeed to start with that is the point the story ended at. The rescue part grew from the idea that without it the event might have been without witnesses and so the story would have less 'substance'. Maybe that part of the story needs a slight re-work sometime in the future.
Thanks for the interest in this story.
Great story. Loved reading it. Keep it up.
Thank you Kaiser N. I am pleased you enjoyed reading this.
Really Great Story!!! 2uesday
This story has the most comments of any of the stories I have here, but it is still wonderful to know that someone has read it and enjoyed reading it. Thank you Bilalnr for reading and also for leaving a comment, pleased you enjoyed reading this.
Hello, I really enjoyed your articles, it has wonderful stories, I wonder if I could translate them to the Portuguese language and publish them to a site of stories that I have, and take them to my students at the school where I work ? stories are really I like to innovate in the classroom for students to acquire a different view of the classic children's books. Their stories are beautiful.
Thank you manusphor thank you for reading this story and also for your comment.
In answer to your request I am happy for you to use this story in your classroom for your students. I have had a request for this to be used in a classroom lesson before as a demonstration of descriptive writing and the teacher was pleased with the way it worked.
It is good of you to ask me as it shows respect for my copyright of this story. However I cannot allow any of my stories, poetry or articles to be used on other sites as it may make my content appear as duplicate on this site and to search engines.
However if you wish to provide a link to this then I am happy for you to do so. Thank you for asking me and giving me the chance to explain, I am grateful.
No problem put the link so, but I could work with him in the classroom?
Thank you manusphor for the link to this story. Yes I would be happy for you to use this story in the classroom. I hope the students enjoy it.
I have fallen in love with this beautiful story. Will read it again and again. Just lovely...
Thank you Hyphenbird it is lovely to read comments like this about this story.
Eerie story! Well-done!
Thank you roe hill I am pleased you you enjoyed reading this.
You have an amazing talent for describing environment. I am jealous, for that is one of my weakness. :( Keep up the brilliant work.
Thank you TheLostGod for reading this story and also for having the patience to scroll through all the comments to leave your own. Sorry I did not reply sooner, I have been walking on beaches and listening to the sound of the sea. Your comment is good to read, as it is my weakness to need to know people enjoy reading the stories I write, as I am never really convinced they will. Thanks again.
Please keep blogging. Looking forward to more!
Thank you, I am in the process of setting up a place on-line that will have my short stories and related topics.
I will keep adding links to my profile here as soon as I can. thanks a lot for reading this story.
Thanks for the great information,Nice
I enjoyed this short story - great sense of PLACE.
Thank you YogaKat it is always nice to get positive feedback on a story. Thanks again.
beautiful writing!!
what a great sad story.. just beautiful.. love the way you write. the way you describe everything the bird the day and the summer going into evening.. I can see feel and hear it all. wonderfully done.
I voted up and beautiful
Hello Simplicity 4All and thank you for reading this and leaving a comment here too.
Hello Deborah, thank you for you lovely comment this is one is my favorite story of the ones I have online. It took a while to discover the whole story as at first I could only imagine the setting; but finally I got the beginning, middle and end that I wanted. Thanks again.
This is a beautiful story--sad--but your writing style is really beautiful
Thank you Audrey it is lovely to know that this story is being read and enjoyed.
well written
Thank you for reading this story and for your kind comment too.
I loved it! It is hauntingly beautiful.
Thank you Kebennett it is nice to know that this story is read and enjoyed. This is my most read on-line story.
This is so so thoughtful and beautiful. It has a quiet power over readers- the best power a story can have!
Thank you dragupine - it would be nice if I could write a dramatic short story, like this one every day but they tend to be elusive.
i have the same problem... join the club. :)
This story was a Hubnuggets Wannabe in November 2009.
- Roundup At the HubNuggets Corral
We've rounded up ten great hubs for you this week. They're brand new hubs from new hubbers and they are good! Come on in to read our latest authors and participate in the voting process. The top 5 winners will be published in Wednesday's newsletter,
ralwus 2 years ago
Now this is a haunting tale and so sad. I enjoyed it thanks. CC